When connection feels hard, confusing, or out of reach—you’re not alone.
Many of us were never taught how to stay connected to ourselves or others. Disconnection from ourselves is learned, and it can be unlearned. This work helps you understand your own disconnection loop, rebuild self-trust, and create healthier relationships through learning, reflection, and supportive community.
Why Connection Feels So Hard for So Many People
Most people don’t struggle with connection because they’re doing something wrong. They struggle because they learned ways of coping that once helped them feel safe—but no longer serve them.
When connection feels uncertain, our nervous systems often respond automatically. We might:
- Shut down or pull away
- Overthink, analyze, or self-blame
- People-please or lose ourselves in relationships
- Avoid conflict—or escalate it
- Get stuck in anxiety and self-doubt
Over time, these responses can turn into patterns that feel frustrating, confusing, or even defeating.
You might know what you want in relationships, but feel stuck when it comes to actually creating it—especially in moments of stress, closeness, or conflict.
This is what we call the disconnection loop:
A cycle of learned responses that quietly shape how we relate to ourselves and others.
The good news is this:
Patterns that were learned can be understood, softened, and changed.
And that work doesn’t happen through willpower or self-criticism. It happens through awareness, compassion, and support.
A different way of understanding and creating connection
This work isn’t about fixing yourself, learning scripts, or trying to “do relationships better.” It’s more than that.
It’s about slowing down enough to understand what’s actually happening beneath the surface—especially in moments of stress, closeness, or conflict.
Rather than focusing on behaviors alone, we focus on:
- Learning the disconnection loop and why it gets activated
- Understanding that you can’t create a healthy connection with others if you’re disconnected from yourself
- Rebuilding self-connection with compassion instead of pressure
- Learning how healthier connection with others grows from the inside out
This is not about perfection or performance. It’s about awareness, nervous system safety, and small, meaningful shifts over time.
And most importantly, this work happens in a community.
Not to compare or compete—but to learn, reflect, and grow alongside others who are asking similar questions and working through similar patterns.
You don’t have to do this alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out at once.
How the groups work together
Healing and growth don’t happen all at once, and they don’t happen in isolation.
One of the most powerful parts of this work is realizing that you’re not the only one who feels this way. You’re not the only one struggling with disconnection, uncertainty, or repeating patterns. And you’re not the only one who needs to do this work.
When we begin to understand that these struggles are human—not personal failures—shame softens, and real change becomes possible.
This work is designed as a pathway, not a single step.
How it all unfolds
1: The free Facebook community
Reinventing Relationships: Creating Healthy Connections with Self & Others
This is where we begin—together. Inside the free community, you’ll:
- Learn the foundations of disconnection and self-connection
- Begin to normalize your experiences by hearing from and connecting with others from around the world
- Reflect, ask questions, and grow in a supportive, inclusive space
For many people, this is the first time they realize they’re not alone—and that awareness alone can be deeply regulating and empowering.
2: The Connected Self (10-week group)
This group is for those who want to go deeper into understanding the disconnection loop and rebuilding connection with themselves through my proven CHANGE method.
Over 10 weeks, we focus on:
- Identifying how disconnection shows up in your life
- Working through the CHANGE method with support and new insight
- Building self-trust, awareness, and nervous system safety
- Creating brave, aligned action to stay connected with yourself over time
Deep work happens alongside others doing the same work, because growth is often strengthened when it’s witnessed and shared.
3: The Connected Relationship
Once self-connection is in place, we turn toward connection with others.
The Connected Relationship focuses on applying this work to real-life relationships, with two paths:
- Singles Path – for those wanting to build healthier relationships from a grounded, connected place
- Partners Path – for those in a partnership who want to create more secure, connected dynamics together
Here, shared learning continues to be a powerful part of the process because seeing yourself reflected in others often brings clarity, compassion, and momentum.
You don’t have to start everywhere
Each step builds on the last, but you don’t have to do everything at once.
Some people begin in the free community. Others feel ready for a group. Wherever you start, you’ll be met with understanding, support, and a reminder that you’re not alone in this work.
For some, this work eventually expands beyond online group spaces and into in-person retreats.
Retreats offer an opportunity to slow down, integrate what you’re learning, and experience connection in a more embodied, immersive way—both with yourself and with others. They are a continuation of your brave steps forward, not a requirement.
This space is for you if you…
- Feel disconnected from yourself or others and want to understand why
- Notice repeating patterns in relationships and feel unsure how to change them
- Get stuck in anxiety, overthinking, or self-doubt
- Tend to people-please, overextend, or lose yourself in order to keep connection
- Want to build healthier connection starting with self-connection
- Value learning, reflection, and growth in community
- Are open to challenging yourself, getting curious, and doing this with compassion
You don’t need to have everything figured out. You don’t need to be confident or certain.
The only requirement is a willingness to show up, reflect, and grow—alongside others who are learning too.
This space may not be the best fit if you…
- Are looking for quick fixes or surface-level advice
- Want to focus primarily on fixing, diagnosing, or changing someone else
- Are not open to self-reflection or personal responsibility
- Are not ready to engage with the discomfort that can come with changing long-standing patterns
- Are not ready to explore and practice new ways of responding when disconnection shows up
This isn’t about judgment or exclusion, it’s about clarity. This space is intentionally designed for people who are ready to engage with themselves honestly and grow in connection with others.
About Sarah
I’m Sarah Monares, a licensed therapist, coach, and writer who helps people understand disconnection and rebuild healthier connections with themselves and others.
My work is grounded in 20 years of experience working with clients, a deep understanding of what humans want and need, and personal lived experience. I don’t believe people struggle because there is something wrong with them—I believe most of us were never taught how to stay connected, especially when relationships feel hard or unsafe.
Most of us were actually taught the opposite. How to silence our truest selves, and conform to rules that make other people comfortable.
Over the years, I’ve worked with individuals and groups who feel stuck in anxiety, self-doubt, people-pleasing, or repeating relationship patterns. What I’ve seen again and again is this: when people understand why they disconnect and learn how to reconnect with themselves first, real change becomes possible.
I care deeply about creating spaces that feel safe, inclusive, and honest. Where growth doesn’t require perfection and where people can learn, evolve, and heal together.
This work isn’t about fixing who you are. It’s about coming back to yourself—and building connection from there.
Current and Upcoming Groups
The Connected Self
10-week guided group experience
This group focuses on reconnecting with yourself as the foundation for a healthier you with more connected relationships.
Inside this group, we:
- Explore the disconnection loop and how it shows up in your life
- Work through the CHANGE method with guidance and support
- Build self-trust, nervous system awareness, and self-connection
- Practice creating brave, aligned action to stay connected with yourself over time
Next Start Date: April 18, 2026
Meets Saturdays at 8 am MT
Investment: $77 per week
(Hurry and reserve your seat as space is limited)
The Connected Relationship
8-week group applying self-connection to relationships
This group is for those who want to bring this work into their relationships, creating healthy connection in a more intentional way.
There are two paths:
Singles Path– for those looking for partnership/friendship and wanting to build healthier relationships from a grounded, connected place
Partners Path– for those in relationships who want to create more secure, connected attachment together
This group focuses on:
- Understanding what healthy, connected relationships look like—and how to recognize patterns that support connection or lead to disconnection
- Understanding triggers, repair, and boundaries through the lens of connection
- Continuing the work alongside others navigating similar relational challenges
Single Path
Next Start Date: August 1, 2026
Meets Saturdays at 10 am MT/ 12 pm ET
Investment: $77 per week
Partners Path
Next Start Date: August 1, 2026
Meets Saturdays at 8 am MT/ 10 am ET
Investment: $150 per week (per couple)
All groups meet weekly for a 1 1/2 hour Zoom session and include a WhatsApp group for ongoing connection, reflection, and support between sessions. These spaces welcome men, women, and people of all gender identities, and are grounded in inclusivity, respect, and emotional safety.
Not Ready for a Group Yet?
That’s okay! The free community is always available and is a meaningful place to begin learning, reflecting, and connecting—without pressure. You can also work with me 1-on-1 if that feels most comfortable to you.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
No. Many people start this work while single. In fact, learning to reconnect with yourself often creates a stronger foundation for future relationships.
No. While this work is therapy-informed and facilitated by a licensed therapist, these groups are educational and experiential, not therapy or a replacement for mental health treatment.
That’s very common. There is no pressure to share more than you’re comfortable with. Listening and reflecting are meaningful forms of participation, and safety is prioritized throughout.
It’s recommended, but not required. Many people benefit from starting with self-connection first, but you’re welcome to choose the path that feels most supportive for you.
Live participation is encouraged whenever possible, but we understand life happens. We’ll share more details about attendance expectations when you enroll.
You’re not alone. Many people come here feeling discouraged after trying multiple approaches. This work focuses on understanding disconnection patterns and learning how to respond differently when they show up—not just gaining insight, but practicing change with support.
Readiness doesn’t mean certainty or confidence. Often, it simply means you’re tired of staying stuck and open to learning something new. That’s enough to begin.
Yes. This space welcomes people of all identities, orientations, and relationship structures. The focus is on connection, not conformity.